When we are hypermobile our physical attachments march to their own beat. Whether a person is a stiff bendy or a complete rubber band, each of us has our story surrounding our attachments. Physical ones, anyway, at least in the context of hypermobile Ehlers Danlos syndrome. But what about our mental or psychological attachments? Those can be overly-flexible or way too tight too.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I recover from the injuries I sustained in late spring. Summer is almost over and the learning process that accompanies my personal healing journey remains substantive. As my body slowly returns to its baseline, I’ve confronted quite a few entrenched patterns that needed to go as part of my process. Sometimes, you just have to let things go.
No, really. Release the attachment. Let it go.
I wonder if it’s harder for us, we whose joints don’t hold together properly. I wonder if we cling a bit harder, just as our muscles do when they guard and hold us tight. And I also think about how we learn to ignore our pain at the same time that we become sensitized to it so that it grows and grows. I’ve been thinking, lately, that this also has its parallels in our mental states too. Maybe. Maybe not. It’s worth considering, though, don’t you think?
In case you missed the story about my injuries, here’s an excerpt from the post where I described what happened:
“So about two and a half months ago, I fell. You know those round seats with wheels that usually are at the head of massage tables at your acupuncturist’s (or at your massage therapist’s) office? At my office (though thankfully not when I was with a patient), I shoved one of those chairs with my foot to move it out of my way and I lost control of my balance. I was having a hyper-flexible day and I just did the splits, basically. As I went down, I rolled to try to protect my “bad” knee (this is the one that slips) and fell hard on my hip instead. Naturally, I jumped right up and pretended nothing was wrong, kind of the way a cat does when they fall off a table. This was a bad choice. My balance was left so off-kilter that a few days later, I lost my balance and fell up the cement stairs going up to my home. This was a hard fall, too, hard enough to rip the knee of my pants and leave me bleeding and bruised.
—Healed vs. Cured: A Not-So-Simple Life
Yes, like any normal hypermobile person, I can easily fall up the stairs.”
And yes, muscle guarding and minimizing have been key factors.
~~Muscle Guarding~~
When we’re hypermobile our loose joints send the message to our nervous system. Not a helpful message; instead, ligaments send the alarm that the body isn’t stable and the nervous system responds by tightening up the muscles. On the bright side, doing so should (at least in theory) prevent subluxations. In reality, in means tight, sore muscles to go along with loose ligaments.
It’s a conflict between holding tight and being destabilized. If you ponder it, it brings to mind how common it is to cling in some areas in order to create stability in other areas, areas where there is little to none. And yes, sometimes we need to do that but other times? Not so much. I work with people who have chronic, lifelong pain and differing levels of disability. I see in them (and in myself) this self-guarding tendency. For patients, I work with them to provide some stability and consistency that can soften the harder edges of guarding. I’m not a psychotherapist but a good acupuncture treatment or tui na can ease emotional pain just as much as physical. With health coaching clients, I support them in creating new habits and different ways to frame things. (For myself? Both the Chinese medicine and the self-cultivation are key).
*****
*****
How does this conflict play out in a person’s mental state? I think that when we have a chronic condition, it is easy to see things in a fearful light. We are all one surprise or flare or accident away from things getting so incredibly much worse… so we self-protect and maybe it even spills out into other areas of our lives, areas that do not relate to hypermobility.
But maybe we are one surprise or good day or fortuitous event away from things getting a lot better, either in our health status or in our lives in general. Or at least bringing us a step further on our healing path, be it physical, mental, or spiritual. I never, ever want to insult anyone with toxic positivity (I cannot… I have too many chronically ill patients to think that a good attitude and regular attendance at yoga is all one needs–oh, and losing weight–in order to be healthy and happy and strong). And yet… I do think that hope should always be a part of one’s perspective. Realistic hope, but hope.
In my experience, and in the experience of many of my patients and clients (these would be people who work with me as their health coach), there are ways to strategize and to improve one’s situation. And in so doing, one of my fondest hopes is that patients and clients learn about their guarding habits and re-learn ways to work around them, or even to heal them and replace them with more supportive thought processes. I cultivate this for myself, and when I’m on a roll… oh, it is wonderful!
You, dear reader, deserve the same, don’t you think?
~~Minimizing~~
When we downplay our pain or we ignore it entirely, that’s minimizing. When our nervous system becomes hyper-sensitive to pain and our sensors are constantly scanning for danger, that’s sensitization. We can’t survive chronic pain conditions if we don’t know how to live with our state(s) of being. That’s just survival. But when we scan and become hyper-sensitive, any pain stimulus sets the whole house of cards into a free-fall.
We also become that much more vulnerable to gaslighting, which–in the medical context–can be very dangerous to us.
“Medical PTSD is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder caused by damage experienced within the contextual framework of healthcare. The trauma might encompass any number of events or occurrences. However, my focus in this essay is on the experiences of chronic, complex, and/or rare disease populations. One thing is to have an exceedingly unpleasant one-off at the doctor’s office or a surgery that went wrong and was subsequently resolved. Quite another is to be dependent on specialist medical care for your very life. Having no other choice but to engage with a system that might kill you just as readily as it keeps you alive you creates a dynamic that requires ongoing engagement and attention.
—Medical PTSD and Chronic Illness: Root Causes and Strategies for Survival
What can a chronically ill person and/or their loved ones do?”
It’s a life lesson and a half to be able to sit with our pain and to gauge just how serious it is (or is not). I’ve definitely been working on that one since my injuries. I don’t know about you, dear reader, but I realize that I do not have a good sense of whether or not I’m injured unless and until it really causes an uproar in my life. I’ve seen this in patients and worked with this with clients, too.
Letting go of the minimizing is a healthy choice. It may be hard at first to acknowledge how much something hurts, but if you know, you can tend to yourself. You can ameliorate the fallout that might otherwise come.
*****
*****
And what about sensitization? It’s a thing and it does make the burden heavier. I may end up writing an entire blog post on this topic alone–it’s that complex–but for here? Again, let it go. If it’s a serious emotional matter, then therapy. For pain? Acupuncture, tui na, gentle movement… there are ways to lessen the effects of sensitization. It is possible to let it go.
~~In conclusion~~
In my Two Hearts Wellness blog I recently posted an essay on being present during change. One thing I brought up was the subject of Swedish death cleaning:
“What do you think about death cleaning? This is a Swedish practice that entails mindfully getting rid of stuff and clutter so that the people who survive you don’t need to deal with your undealt-with stuff. I think it’s a great idea and I also think that an emotional version is wise too. By that, I mean: it’s a worthy task to get rid of emotional junk that doesn’t need to be hauled around on your back for the rest of your days.
—Transitions (Getting Ready For a New Season)
It may require the support of a therapist or it may not, but is it available to you to get rid of some old garbage that does nothing for you now? Shame, guilt, regret… these weigh on a person, keeping them stuck in an eternal now poisoned by the past.”
What do you think about that? Personally, that’s my project for the upcoming new season. Sitting with pain, deciding what is realistic and what is knee-jerk, habitual, and/or the product of sensitization… and then doing something about it. For the most part, by this I mean: letting it go.
There’s a reason for the proverb “the cobbler’s children have no shoes.” It really is true that it’s a lot easier to help the patients and/or clients who pay for one’s specialist knowledge, all the while ignoring one’s own material. But as a professor, I was adamant about not asking students to do what I wasn’t willing to do myself. I insisted that they write their papers with care and I read and corrected those papers with care. I absolutely expected people to do their reading and come to class prepared, and I did the same for my students. So I’m not entirely a cobbler with barefoot children but I realized, with this recent injury, that I’m veering a little closer to that than is good for me.
This self-reflection is healthy for me, and it’s beneficial for patients and clients. I see myself with new eyes and a fresh lens, and I apply it to my own life. It also adds a new texture to how I work with patients in my office and during virtual appointments with health coaching clients. I’m sifting through, and letting go in an affirming and meaningful way. I’ve developed some compassion for myself that I didn’t have until recently and it expands to include patients and clients that much more than ever before. (It’s always been pretty easy to be compassionate with patients but I think now, it somehow feels more mature and non-attached in a better, healthier way… if that makes sense).
What do you think about letting go?
And will you join me, if at least in spirit, in this new endeavor of releasing what no longer serves?
*****
*****
Dr. Paula Bruno, Ph.D., L.Ac., is a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist, an AOBTA-CP traditional Chinese bodywork therapist, an author, and a health coach. She maintains an active and growing practice at Two Hearts Wellness, her Austin, TX office. Dr. Bruno is also available for distance appointments for wellness consultation or coaching.
In her first career, she was a Spanish professor.
Dr. Bruno’s specialties as a Chinese medicine practitioner include: • Musculoskeletal health (acute or chronic pain relief; Ehlers Danlos syndrome & hypermobility support) • Digestive support, gut health, and weight loss • Aesthetic treatment, including scar revision • Men’s health • General preventative care and wellness support for all persons.
She is the author of Chinese Medicine and the Management of Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome: A Practitioner’s Guide.
When you are ready to discover what traditional medicine plus a vibrant and engaged approach to holistic health can do for you, either contact Dr. Bruno or book an appointment online.
*****
*****
Two Hearts Wellness/Holistic Health & hEDS does not accept paid advertising on this website and only relies on strictly necessary cookies. All our copy is generated by human effort (there is no AI slop here!)
Note: Material on this web site site is not intended to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease, illness, or ailment. A Chinese medicine practitioner in Texas identifies syndrome patterns but does not diagnose illness. Material on this web site does not purport to identify syndrome patterns.
*****
Holistic Health and hEDS 